Its been a long time, I shouldnt have left you.

######## Alert this entry is on a serious note for me ###############

Well well well, i guess its time to chronicle another entry in my illustrious blog that no one happens to ever visit and read. Funny thing how you think you inner most thoughts are the most entertaining and sought after must-have-info from the masses. And then you eventually realize, no one gives a good got damn.

Anywayzz, I would like to have some suggestions regarding what i should write about from time to time, because i look at blogging as a means of escape. A kinda freestyle writing where i basically jot down whatever comes into my stressed mind, and mindlessly go on a whim. Improving as to some sort. I feel like i strongly abhor the whole let-me-write-about-something that has been killing me, or on my mind, or stressin out thing. Cuz I am mostly the type of person where when something is really stressing me out, talking about it RARELY changes the situation only action. Can I get an Amen imagined masses? Amen! Thank you.

LOL! You know what, after all the preaching about how i dont want to talk about it, i was just about to get into how i feel like such a lame for yadda yadda reasons... but i would hate to feel like such a hypocrite so im going to save this entry. Ya'll non responding bitches please tell me what to write about, and hopefully you will forget by the next entry that I said i dont like to talk about myself. Chow bella!

O Romeo, O Romeo, where for art thou?

So its Friday, and I am feeling quite melancholy. Why do most [young] people look forward to the weekend as the time to go out and have fun? I haven’t experienced that feeling in a long time. I mean, all I have to look forward to is another job to work, no possible social prospects or hook-ups. Great life huh? I mean, really am I THAT grotesque that hot people are not knocking down my door trying to rip off [my rather large] genitalia, just so that they can have some sort of keepsake in my own memory? You know what though? I have been told that I am very flakey, and that I bring all of this on myself. Yes, I do have prospects – wait scratch that – used to have prospects, but I have this horrible knack of finding almost EVERYONE so lame. Except for said Ex. With that said, I start to not return calls, or find some reason why I cant be in relationship. I then try to establish a sexual relationship, NSA, but by then its usually too late. By the time I realize that I am not interested, they have realized that they are and its all or nothing. So contrary to popular belief, dudes can be promiscuous. But at the end of the day all they want is some good ol’ fashion lovin. I mean, I have had hotties that would make you want to slap your mother, millionaires, people who can be your best friend AND your best friends best friends. But all of them are such lames, except for the best friends best friends. We still talk, but not attractive enough. Really I don’t have high standards, I really just want to chill with someone my age, cool, got something going for them, attractive with sex appeal. Is that REALLY so hard to find? I really don’t think I am looking for something out of my league, simply because I am not looking for that much.

So with that said, quite melancholy again…

I'm bringing sexy back?

So its been quite a while since I have given you guys an entry. Frankly, I am bored with your despondent asses. No one cares that I work my ass off just to get attention from you guys. But alas, no comments, not you are a crazy mother fucker, no hello, how are the kids? Or, I think you should seek psychiatric help. No anything. I even have an entry about suicide thinking that eventually someone will respond/help. NO! So what do I do. I abandon you. I run away to become an aspiring stripper. No really, I have been thinking about it. I visited my friend recently in Rhode Island, and we put on a strip show Its so much fun…. no really. I feel like you can be anything that you want to be as a stripper. Its great! You can pretend like you are the sexiest mutha fucker in the universe. Everyone watches you pump and gyrate, and it’s the best. Its like look at me as I “back that thing up.” Does that make me a slut? Maybe. Do I enjoy? Hell yeah! Am I embarrassed about it? Not so much. I think everyone has a secret hidden stripper fantasy, back in the recesses of their brain….. Like deep deep recesses, but its there. And I am here to help you bring it out. Come with me child. See the light and come. Um, so yea. I have this problem of feeling like I am devoid of the grown and sexy. So I pursue stripping to try to recapture that….wait not recapture, because I never had it….but I do like to try to persue it. What the fuck can I do to be sexy? I mean, can you share some sexiness with me too? You know how like, Kate Moss n Tyson Beckford just ooze sexiness. I mean, they are just like photographed, yet you can smell the sex on their breath. I want to do that….thus, I over compensate in bedroom. yea, I said it. I am a nasty fuck in the bed. I am grinding, stripping, wine-ing, gyrating, flipping, pumping, straddling…sorry to be so graphic…but I am like, I gotta make up for not being a sexy mutha fucker… you kno. I kno u understand, its not like I am just making out, im like making out……. so yea, help please with my affliction?

Suicide...by Dick of course!

So disgruntled much? Yes! With nothing to drink! Whats a fella to do? It is gloomy as HELL outside and there is no one to hold at night! What a horrible fucking life must you be thinking? Well I completely agree, you know what I will say, contrary to what most women believe, we men do want someone to hold at night. Oh hell yea, sometimes I need to switch it up, ever so slightly cuz aint no ass like new ass (not as frequent as you would think), but I still want a wifey. Someone to come home to and just be like wuz good baby, and then we go to sleep in each others arms… you kno? See I can totally be a romantic, so don’t hate the playa hate the game. Romance is by FAR not my middle name, but I can do some sweet shit if I want to.

So right now I am at my boring as job, and I would LOVE to slit my wrist right now, all over the laptop and computer desk. And hopefully as my boss passes by - completely ignoring the pool of blood that is surrounding my dead carcass complete with wild jackals fighting over my remains – he will slip and fall, finally notice me, and put another stack of papers in the one clear spot there is and tell me to hand this project in ASAP by COB!....COB meaning 9 fucking thirty at night, even though the bitch knows that I am supposed to get off at 6 and you don’t pay me overtime mutha fucker.

So I have devised a plan, by next week Tuesday, I start my new job at some fucking hipster trendy ass college demographic catering to retail store. I want to make enough money to buy more drinks of course. Maybe by then I wont realize how truly fucked up my job is and stop threatening to commit suicide to my best friend, whom by now is just so damn tired of it she usually just says have another drink. That, and oh! silly me, she is suicidal also. In fact we usually spend our free time, drunk, going from party to party, talking about how horrible shits men are (black/latino in particular) then scurry home – usually to her house – to discuss new ways of committing suicide. Great… Well actually this is how the conversation transitions to suicide….”I just had sex on Monday and damn I am horny (of course its only Wednesday by now)” … “ Yea I had sex last week, it was wack I couldn’t even feel his twig stick, I cant stand him!” …. “Yea I wish we could just kill him and harvest his dick”…..”Oh fuck it they will never change I just want to die!” … “Me too! I want to commit suicide!” ….”Oh hell yea! Suicide by dick!”….so we eventually find someway to mix killing ourselves, others and sex…. you know the suicidal connoisseurs that we are. I mean, who could actually boast that skill!

If you have any more intriguing, titillating, exciting ways to end our pathetic lives, feel free to share after the jump! Smooches you bitch.

1

Unconditional Love? Love at first sight? Bah-hum bug to your momma.

Another question for those of you who have happened to venture onto my side of the Universe. First of all: I am so glad that you came. Please do come again. I promise milk, cookies, and hot java to pour down your crotch and a fiery death by Obea if you don’t!

But seriousness now: Do you believe in Unconditional love? -please google hi-five Unconditional love for me if you don’t – and do you guys believe in Love at First sight?

I am interested in hearing what you guys have to say on this manner. I am well aware that this is a post more along the serious line for me. But I am just inquisitive/curious. what can I say. The jury is still out for me though.

Get at me.